- Gf: babe come over
- Me: I'm eating garlic bread
- Gf: I'm horny and my parents aren't home
- Me: it's the kind that's covered in cheese
honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.
making new friends is stressful like what emojis are they ok with? what if they dont like emojis?
simple tips to gain my friendship
- have a dog
- show me pictures of your dog
- invite me over to pet your dog
- be a dog
i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly
why are men always spitting all over the sidewalk? do men create more saliva than women and need to get rid of it? are they marking their territory? what’s going on?
They can’t swallow because that’s gay
reblog if ur kinda cold and pretty tired
maybe Jesus was gay the whole time and was actually saying “ah, men”