so my mums friend went skiing and she found someone lost in the mountains and she was like hello can i help u do u speak english and it was bear grylls
she found bear grylls
my dad seriously just said to me, “you don’t fit into a size zero. don’t flatter yourself.”
Thanks dad. So sweet. Really making my day so much better
"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"
"I’m sorry, what does the McChef recommend?"
the worst way for friendships to end is for literally nothing to go wrong, you just stop talking. they stop messaging you to see how youre doing and you get sick of being the first one to initiate conversation so you just let the friendship go and wonder how that person is doing and never hear from them again
the other day in health class we were watching a movie and then my friend tells me to turn around and I see this
how the fuck did I not see him change into this costume..
You don’t understand how much you’ll miss their voice, until you realize how long it will be until you hear it." —
too lazy for life